Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want her autograph on my taint
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
