my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
