its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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