i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
