Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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