he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
