Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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