I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
