Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
