She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
