So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
