woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
