so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
