ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
