dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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