How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
