WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
