Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
