I hope mine doesn't look like that
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
