there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize