If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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