Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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