32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize