Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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