the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
