We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
