I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
