You smell like stripper and shame
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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