Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how can u be prego again
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
