On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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