apparently the secret to your success is patron
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
