we have officially lost it.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
