That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
