I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize