i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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