I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
