arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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