i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
