Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
