I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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