My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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