he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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