you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
