I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
