OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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