You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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