So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
