Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
