Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
