Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
