when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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