Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
