are you still at the devil's house?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
