Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
