he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
