My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
