Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
