i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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