dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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