do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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