i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
PANTIES FOUND
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
