'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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