I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
