i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
